i love this bunny. we had fun together. so i made this for her.
HAPPY PYNCHON IN PUBLIC DAY!!! to all my fellow Pynchystero’s!!!!
(click on above for “I’ll Be Your Mirror”)
Let me begin with —
I’ll be your mirror
Reflect what you are, in case you don’t know
I’ll be the wind, the rain and the sunset
The light on your door to show that you’re home
Within my circle of friends, watching films and having dinners usually surrenders to conversation; mind-bending, lengthy and worthwhile conversation. And up until recently my happiness was beginning to surrender to feelings of compromise, doubt, weight and worry. So naturally this means busying the life with more dinners and playtime -thus conversations- with friends. Eventually the settling happens, and thoughts are no longer restless, and feelings of comfort begin to create the foundations of harmony. We sit in gratitude, from a distance.
And of course, at times we reach the crossroads with some of our other friends. The ones that might have wronged us. The ones we wronged. We wonder. We regret. And we question. This always leads me to…
The Three Kinds of Friendships…
Friendship based on utility.
Utility is an impermanent thing: it changes according to circumstances. So with the disappearance of the ground for friendship, the friendship also breaks up, because that was what kept it alive. Friendships of this kind seem to occur most frequently between the elderly (because at their age what they want is not pleasure but utility) and those in middle or early life who are pursuing their own advantage. Such persons do not spend much time together, because sometimes they do not even like one another, and therefore feel no need of such an association unless they are mutually useful. For they take pleasure in each other’s company only in so far as they have hopes of advantage from it. Friendships with foreigners are generally included in this class.
Friendship based on pleasure.
Friendship between the young is thought to be grounded on pleasure, because the lives of the young are regulated by their feelings, and their chief interest is in their own pleasure and the opportunity of the moment. With advancing years, however, their tastes change too, so that they are quick to make and to break friendships; because their affection changes just as the things that please them do and this sort of pleasure changes rapidly. Also the young are apt to fall in love, for erotic friendship is for the most part swayed by the feelings and based on pleasure. That is why they fall in and out of friendship quickly, changing their attitude often within the same day. But the young do like to spend the day and live together, because that is how they realize the object of their friendship.
Perfect friendship is based on goodness.
Only the friendship of those who are good, and similar in their goodness, is perfect. For these people each alike wish good for the other qua good, and they are good in themselves. And it is those who desire the good of their friends for the friends’ sake that are most truly friends, because each loves the other for what he is, and not for any incidental quality. Accordingly the friendship of such men lasts so long as they remain good; and goodness is an enduring quality. Also each party is good both absolutely and for his friend, since the good are both good absolutely and useful to each other. Similarly they please one another too; for the good are pleasing both absolutely and to each other; because everyone is pleased with his own conduct and conduct that resembles it, and the conduct of good men is the same or similar.Friendship of this kind is permanent, reasonably enough; because in it are united all the attributes that friends ought to possess. For all friendship has as its object something good or pleasant — either absolutely or relatively to the person who feels the affection — and is based on some similarity between the parties. But in this friendship all the qualities that we have mentioned belong to the friends themselves; because in it there is similarity, etc.; and what is absolutely good is also absolutely pleasant; and these are the most lovable qualities. Therefore it is between good men that both love and friendship are chiefly found and in the highest form.
That such friendships are rare is natural, because men of this kind are few. And in addition they need time and intimacy; for as the saying goes, you cannot get to know each other until you have eaten the proverbial quantity of salt together. Nor can one man accept another, or the two become friends, until each has proved to the other that he is worthy of love, and so won his trust. Those who are quick to make friendly advances to each other have the desire to be friends, but they are not unless they are worthy of love and know it. The wish for friendship develops rapidly, but friendship does not.
-Aristotle The Nichomachean Ethics
And so, I’ve learned that this argument is based upon the idea of surrounding ourselves with “good” and reasonable people that can help us to share and nurture our ideologies. Should the time come when one realizes that there is no common “good” or idea to be shared, well then the friendship has no foundation.
Then Cicero argues that ALL human beings are bonded together along with Gods, in that commonality of purpose or reason:
Let this, then, be laid down as the first law of friendship, that we should ask from friends, and do for friends’, only what is good. But do not let us wait to be asked either: let there be ever an eager readiness, and an absence of hesitation. Let us have the courage to give advice with candour. In friendship, let the influence of friends who give good advice be paramount; and let this influence be used to enforce advice not only in plain-spoken terms, but sometimes, if the case demands it, with sharpness; and when so used, let it be obeyed.
In friendship and relationship, just as those who possess any superiority must put themselves on an equal footing with those who are less fortunate, so these latter must not be annoyed at being surpassed in genius, fortune, or rank. (section 20)
Now, by “worthy of friendship” I mean those who have in themselves the qualities which attract affection. This sort of man is rare; and indeed all excellent things are rare; and nothing in the world is so hard to find as a thing entirely and completely perfect of its kind. But most people not only recognize nothing as good in our life unless it is profitable, but look upon friends as so much stock, caring most for those by whom they hope to make most profit. Accordingly they never possess that most beautiful and most spontaneous friendship which must be sought solely for itself without any ulterior object. They fail also to learn from their own feelings the nature and the strength of friendship. For every one loves himself, not for any reward which such love may bring, but because he is dear to himself independently of anything else. But unless this feeling is transferred to another, what a real friend is will never be revealed; for he is, as it were, a second self. But if we find these two instincts showing themselves in animals, - whether of the air or the sea or the land, whether wild or tame, - first, a love of self, which in fact is born in everything that lives alike; and, secondly, an eagerness to find and attach themselves to other creatures of their own kind; and if this natural action is accompanied by desire and by something resembling human love, how much more must this be the case in man by the law of his nature? For man not only loves himself, but seeks another whose spirit he may so blend with his own as almost to make one being of two. (section 21)
It is virtue, virtue, which both creates and preserves friendship. On it depends harmony of interest, permanence, fidelity. When Virtue has reared her head and shewn the light of her countenance, and seen and recognised the same light in another, she gravitates towards it, and in her turn welcomes that which the other has to shew; and from it springs up a flame which you may call love or friendship as you please. Both words are from the same root in Latin; and love is just the cleaving to him whom you love without the prompting of need or any view to advantage-though this latter blossoms spontaneously on friendship, little as you may have looked for it… And since the law of our nature and of our life is that a new generation is for ever springing up, the most desirable thing is that along with your contemporaries, with whom you started in the race, you may also teach what is to us the goal. But in view of the in-stability and perishableness of mortal things, we should be continually on the look-out for some to love and by whom to be loved; for if we lose affection and kindliness from our life, we lose all that gives it charm… (section 27)
This is all I had to say on friendship. One piece of advice on parting. Make up your minds to this. Virtue (without which friendship is impossible) is first; but next to it, and to it alone, the greatest of all things is Friendship. (section 27)
-Cicero On Friendship
BUT, the “friendship” speaks for itself when reason cannot be met, when love cannot be met. Not all people are capable of this. Is it not our moral obligation to foster an environment that enables us to grow into becoming a virtuous person ? If we fail in this duty..what next? How do we know what a friendship really is?
Happy 1,891st birthday to my favorite stoic of all, whose wisdom was always mightier than the sword, and whose candle - if lit during these apocalyptic times - would be the saving grace to guide us to humanity, to the foundations of a just nature.
“The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. “
“The sexual embrace could only be compared with music, and with prayer.”
- Marcus Annius Catilius Severus (Aurelius Antoninus Augustus)
aka Emporer Marcus Aurelius
(This was a previous post of mine in 2011 & ‘12. It’s nice to revisit old thoughts)
When an ocean comes between two people, and one is caught in a current going the opposite direction, the point is not for us to go after as a savior but rather…to swim ashore. To regroup. To breathe. To find strength and to be graceful during the process. If the current brings that person back, you’ll be the same person as before but rather than a cold fervent rush, you’ll be found in a warm stillness, and grounded in compassion. If the person becomes lost in the current, your same warmth and grounded soul will only grow deeper and the heart will become still, and silent… wanting not waiting….for life.
“The Girl Who Silenced the World”
20 years ago. Unfortunately, still relevant.
Earth = Environment, Children, Humanity, Compassion, Peace
Some Day = Resolution
Happy Earth Day Every Day
Looking over facebook posts, realizing there’s a deep sense of sadness amongst some of my friends, because of ongoing national and worldwide tragedies. Going to two funerals in one week kind of forces me to look for a reason to smile, for a sense of balance, though its perfectly alright to feel no need to smile (considering). I think society has forced us to respond in ways that create burdens on our psyche. Smiling, laughing, and breathing, help us to alleviate some of that burden. I hope that my friends can find a reason to smile, even if only briefly, if they want to.
I wanna cry
long past the timeframe they’ve told me is acceptable.
I wanna laugh
until I’ve drowned out silence,
or until they tell me to grow up.
I won’t listen.
I wanna ask
the easy ones with answers like,
“Because he thought no one loved him,” or
“we’ll never have the answers.”
And the tough ones, with answers like,
“Because he thought no one loved him,” or
“we’ll never have the answers.”
I don’t wanna know
why and when people stopped listening, stopped caring.
And because no one ever thinks they need a hug,
I wanna hug
everyone I meet.
That moment of letting go together,
when we feel emotions dancing.
And I’d rather dance
then grow up.
I want my heart to smile,
in a room filled with unbearable darkness.
Adult eyes piercing me with curiosity, longing to be
in my shoes, once again.
To grow up, in my shoes.
I’m 2 years young,
5 years old.
I’m that kid you once knew.
I am hope.
Love is what fills the softness
throughout my bones.
There are no options
for anything less.
I am what I want to be,
when I grow up.
I was gonna write about how today marks the anniversary of meeting an angel. An angel who - while disguised as human -came into my life like a tornado, bringing heaven and the stars with him, only to as quickly -as the just fed happy hummingbird- fly away, leaving a necessary, and wonderful, lasting impression. But…we’ve all heard that love and life story, and I might tell it later.
Instead, this morning I received the always dreadful news that another good guy has left us to cancer. (this cancer stuff is getting old, by the way) He’s a best friend to one of my closer cousins. All of us the same age, at that point in our lives when priorities surface, self-awareness speaks to us through the language of birth, loss, career transitions, and through the restlessness of the realities of a monotonous life. Our realities a little more settled in (just a tiny bit more), making it easier for us to understand each other.
So the other day, when my cousin communicated to me how devastating Oscars recent cancer journey has been —for him, my cousin— I realized the impression that Oscar has made on his friends. I again, was reminded of the power of friendship, and how powerful a lasting impression can be for one another, just by nature of being a good person.
Oscar leaving us, is a tremendous loss. I’ll always remember him as the badass UCLA left guard, who in high school stood out from the rest of my cousins friends because of his teddy-bear heart and because he was a vegetarian. His pro-football career cut short by his first battle with this horrible cancer demon, he instead became an amazing father, and remained very close friends with many of the same people he grew up with; a testament to his character. It wasn’t until recently, after twelve or so years, that I started to catch up with him again, and easily discovered what a wonderful father he became, and the loving soul that remained.
May Oscar rest as he lived, in peace.
“The winds that sometimes take something we love, are the same that bring us something we learn to love. Therefore we should not cry about something that was taken from us, but, yes, love what we have been given. Because what is really ours is never gone forever.”
― Bob Marley
In this society,
to love with your entire being
is a curse.
A curse that all souls
should be committed to
and that I’d bet my life on.
A curse to proudly secure
in the trenches of the space hidden
in the pause of entanglement,
love briefly put on hold.
A curse that warms like the sun,
building foundations of time,
memories to unravel slowly in.
To love, as if society doesn’t exist.
Civilization begins and ends
when we become cursed by love.
“You shall love whether you like it or not. Emotions, they come and go like clouds. Love is not only a feeling; you shall love. To love is to run the risk of failure, the risk of betrayal. You fear your love has died; perhaps it is waiting to be transformed into something higher. Awaken the divine presence which sleeps in each man, each woman. Know each other in that love that never changes.”
Malick, at it again
Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together,but do so with all your heart.
At the end of a day, a religious one such as today, I try to remember that all religions and non-religious “belief systems” are tied by a string made of the same material. These fibers form a basic pattern, in the form of symbols, consisting of—a calling, a pull, a need for something “else”, a goal, a journey, an all encompassing love. All of these play a part in the story that is life. The story that binds us all. It’s up to us to keep that story going. It’s the antagonist, that continuously tries to create obstacles while in the midst of that journey. It’s my belief that in the end, the antagonist NEVER wins. In the end what ends up winning, is life, the way it happens…which is precious and purposeful and above all - mortal.
Good Friday to ya’ll!
this one is timeless. so good. so brutal.
Afghan Whigs - Be Sweet. (Live)
Ladies, let me tell you about myself
I got a dick for a brain
And my brain is gonna sell my ass to you
Now I’m OK, but in time I’ll find I’m stuck
‘Cause she wants love, and I still want to fuck
Now that I’m ashamed, it burns
But the weight is off
Now that you’re out of the way
I turn and I can walk
You showed no sympathy, my love
And this was no place for you and me to walk alone
On my grave, am I OK?
I’m sure I’m not
Ladies let me tell you about my love
She kept giving me more
But it wasn’t enough
Now that I come to you
To understand my little self
To understand my little self
And baby you be sweet
it’s that time when being mestizo makes sense. when cultures don’t collide, they dance. the time when I can feel the winds take over to raise the sails, my body the mast. the migration patterns running through my DNA, with swans dancing to the thumping of the drums, dancing from my feet to my throat, and making a home in my heart. the time when all that has been, comes to fruition, in the form of a test that I’ll never have the answers to, but a test that will inspire me to count on the Sun for direction. and i’ll raise my ear as close to her as possible, to listen for my heartbeat. and i know, through adventure, that what i’ll hear is the world. and that’s what makes sense.
living, is taking the long hike
up the hill that only you see
in cities that don’t exist
with people that don’t have names
floating along in ships
parades on sinking sand dunes
paddling ocean waves of stillness.
falling in lust requires letting go
its time to forget, experience awaits.
the rebirth of an oscillating sun
is implanting its memories under my skin.
burnt fossils fuel a certain brilliance.
kerouac could only dream
of movement as existing as this.
lets not fuck it up with wander love.
We must declare ourselves, become known; allow the world to discover this subterranean life of ours which connects kings and farm boys, artists and clerks. Let them see that the important thing is not the object of love, but the emotion itself.